so this is my farewell mail to my dearest colleague...
hi joyie!!

see...i told you i still love you..so much so that the world isconspiring to keep us together... =)so. as you can see..sonal still loves me and has refused to disconnect my emailid...i wonder if i should freak out anu by sending her an email from thisaccount...would love to see her freak! haha..anythign to make her hair stand uplike she has just been pulled out of an electric socket! hahahahaha..oh my god i am nearly falling out of my chair imagining her like that..and not to forgetalso Darakshan...so as you can see...my forgetful ex boss is proving to be an incentive to turn psycho...now that she is holidaying in the US of A ( remember that ad which said " America's realy cool man, the chicks there really dig me!" ..it was for maaza i think) hahaha...anu reminds me of that ad...and then the guy in the ad drinks maaza and then says, " America (in a really verni accent)..wo kahan hai aunty?") hahahaha..i am so rolling on the floor now...must gossip about my current working place as well now..musn't be unfair to metro..after all they gave me roti kapda and makaan for a year..and not tomention the insurmountable amount of laughs by being morrrronic..(Thumb rule-always roll your R's when you say Morrron!)i love that effect! almost always helps you get rid of your frustration!ok..so my new publisher...this potbellied guy (also slightly effeminate) is a complete weirdo..just wants to make life hell for us by making us wear formals...and then...all he does is come out and yell at my poor editor and the marketing people...whenever i talk to him..he takes off on another tangent which is what most people here do when i talk...and also...he has these weird timings...9.30 to 6.00. what kind of timings are those man? it's either 10 to 6or 9.30 to 5.30. but never mind...hey guess what he is TA(target audience in case you are still unfamiliar with metro lingo) ..lokhandwala resident..but thinks reading metro is infra dig...blaady..(actually that wasbloody but of course i am saying it the way you say it!)i am sure he reads mid-day society pages when no one is looking...my editor tho thinks mid-day is hopeless...but will still read eco times which has headlines reading..."call centre employees suffer love pangs"!now i do understand that you will share ths mail with others in office, but let good sense prevail and make sure that you read it only amidst our reporter comrades ( here, i am reinforcing my socialist leanings)..initiate our new reporters into the metro tradition by making them fill up the white board withtheir honest experiences in metro so far..( the white board was my contribution to metro..sniff sniff). make sure that kanika gets weaned away from mcdonalds food..make her understand that it's all a big conspiracy and the imperialist designs of the US to homogenise our food culture! help lina understand that if she ever does decide to pull out anu's hair, i am with her..i might even join in! and that she will be honoured for serving a larger purpose in life! tell pooja that she should seriously consider life beyond metro office and step out once in a way to go on field for reporting! tell sayli that she shouldseriously stop ordering chinese food from Jyoti! tell manthan, that lal jhandawill be back to haunt him forever! tell raju, that he should leave and make better use of his gangster skills! tell babu..that although i hardly got to speak to him...i totally adore him..after all we owe it to our kerala connection..and that if he ever starts a political outfit, i will help him canvass. tell janaki that i am happy that she is taking my place...and that sangu will never be an issue! tell prerana to give up trying to plug vishwesh in the media..tell meghna that i hardly got to know her, but that she desparately needs to eat more and teach me how to lose weight..tell priya thatthere is life beyond chembur metro and that i might help her find it...(a trip to the narmada valley might help!) also tell her that those andrews kids are taking her for a ride..a good teacher never gives out notes! tell suparna,thatshe will find feature and trend stories in chembur and that the divine force of Vibha will prove to be her guiding light in those endeavours! tell renu, that there is life beyond story briefs and wishing for Vashi metro!now finally tell yourself the following words, "There is none so great asvibha..i will always worship and love her, but life moves on...there will be new people in my life (don't get excited..your lights have dimmed...in this case it is aanchal.).i will try and help her with work, just like the mighty vibha did..i will never forget the many times that she stood by me everytime i started work on monday morning and had 7 stories to complete by tuesday...i will always honour every word of hers, including "Ban Coke and Pepsi". i will never enjoy another morsel of khichdi kadhi or dahi batata puri without remebering the honourable vibha! if i am a fun journalist today it is all because of vibha!this i solemnly pledge and i swear upon myself that come what may, i will always honour and keep in touch with vibha..and at no point of time should i lose hope..for there is always THE VIBHA! so help me GOD!please note..these words can also be repeated by the other reporters in office.it will only make me cry with joy!
take care and Hail the Revolution!
lal salaam
Vibha " Wobble" Iyer