So...how difficult can life be at 19? difficult enough to tip over and say " I Quit!"

how difficult is it to be convinced that you are loved, wanted? not any more difficult than convincing you that you are loved, wanted...and an inseperable part of our life?

it's just a fraction of a second isn't it? just a microsecond away from not crossing over to the other side...just that moment...coz once that moment has gone away...you just look back..and am sure you would never feel the same...

and the insurmountable amount of pain you leave behind...

she was just 19...not meant to go away like that....no one is..

Dearest joyie,

I was sitting by the sea at 12.30 am last night...discussing the Israeli Palestinian conflict with a punch of Assamese humour...as the cold sea breeze blew...i lifted the collars of my (your) jacket to shut out the wind from entering my ears...waiting endlessly for one of our phones to ring...(preferably mine)...it did ring in the end...only to make me laugh and tell me not to wait anymore...

...because i can't say NO!!

am supposed to be on a holiday...remain totally disconnected from anything to do with academics and waste my life for the next ten days...indulging in trivial pursuits like movie marathons...gossip with my female friends...drool at Abhishek Bachchan in his latest hip hop avtaar...and spend endless hours staring at the ceiling fan...dreaming away my days and nights...

but as luck would have it ..am here at IGIDR...tabulating more data...only because i can't say no!! so the one week that i am going to be here...there will be more posts typed from my confine at IGIDR...

More on Mumbai
Trust this city to make me happy...while i was turning blue in pune (thanks to the minimum of 7 degrees) mumbai is where you can take a walk in the evenings without having to put your hands into your pockets or wear two layers of clothes so that you can breathe...

Mumbai is where you see disciplined chaos...no autos driving up footpaths...we may have bumper to bumper traffic...but we will definitely reach home...ultimately.

Mumbai is where you meet a friend who has just returned from Europe with a big bar of German chocolate and you treat him to chai at Stadium restaurant...sit for hours and talk about his trek up the Alps and the failure of the WTO talks and have the waiter droppping hints for you to leave...and the bar of chocolate doesn't make you drool as much..anymore...

Mumbai is where you meet someone at 11.30 in the night..and can walk to the nearest dosawala for a meal under the streetlight...

Mumbai is where the most exciting part of your day is travelling by the new Millennium Rake ( that's the latest train on the western line...complete with cushioned seats in the second class and bright new interiors) and boarding a Starbus (that's the latest offering by the BEST)...

Mumbai is where i hope to meet my favourite'st' poet ..Shreya!!

am nearly a semster old...quite a journey...except that i am still to deal with math...

to all ex ACJiites!! (am sorry for putting this one up so late...)
Manasi my ex roomie is getting married!!! to funny man Cherian!! so the wedding includes good food and standup comedy!! am volunteering to be the sidekick...

totally offtrack!!

...have been talking to friends from mumbai over the phone in my sleep...have also been explaining the concept of elasticity to my bewildered and now bored roomie...

I think the trip to mumbai is long overdue....

If i pile up all the books and additional readings that i have to read through to get past my first semester...the pile competes with me in standing tall...(there's not much to comepte with eh!!)

and the electricity board has found an ingenius way to entertain me in the midst of my tryst with exams...as i sit in the wee hours of the early morn off goes the light...and whoa!! i light up candles...trying to pay my tribute to abe lincoln...

and as i take my five minute break in between the readings...i can't take my eyes off the candles...as they melt down with the help of a steady flame...the wax flows down like a teardrop...but just when it is about to reach the bottom..it gets frozen...and hangs on as if suspended...as it melts further...and some drops do mangae to race all the way down...there is a mound of wax below...and now the narrow streams of wax have to make their way through the frozen streams of wax and finally flow over the mound...it's almost like a river of wax....and then the two candles fuse together...and the wax in between hangs like stalactites and stalagmites..(limestone formations)..of which i have only read about in geography...

as the candles finally burn down to their last bit...the last teeny weeny bit of wick left...doesen't let the flame quiver...it burns on steadily..and finally...the wick falls into its own pool of wax...lies there subsumed...and when it finally freezes over...there the wick lies..fossilised by the wax.. much like insects fossilised in amber...frozen over time...

totally offtrack...

have been to mumbai and back..finally have a pincode that reads GOA!! all of you are welcome...yum south indian food on the house!!

wil be in pune for precisely 14 days...then i will be one semester old...have too many ideas in my head and have no idea where i am gonna go with all of them...